sometimes the cure is worse than the disease
I take medication to lower my cholesterol, and I’m nauseated.
I take medication to help me sleep, and I get a hangover.
I take medication to alleviate severe depression, and I lose my creativity.
It’s a tough choice sometimes, especially that last one. I felt miserable from my teenagehood until well into my thirties when I was diagnosed with chronic depression; I’ve been on medication off and on ever since. I like feeling “ok”. I like feeling that obstacles in life are not directed personally at ME. I hate the extra burden of padding through the thick extra stuff to get creative. I’ve tried going off my medication for several months or more so I can enjoy the creative juices that seem to flow, but I’m unable to judge when it’s time to start popping pills again so I end up in a pit of despair that’s harder to climb out of than the time before.
I dug this collage out of the archives: one of my first ATC efforts and still one of my favorites. I’ve been thinking of adding something at the bottom, “demand thorough testing” or maybe “stop mental health discrimination”, and then leaving little cards in places they’ll be picked up. That wouldn’t be vandalism, would it?
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